tender mercy

My Father in law sent me this note from Elder Ronald Hammond that he had received after telling him of our situation with Traeton. My Father in law is a Stake President and communicates about the needs of his stake on a weekly basis and occasionally, the personal needs of those in his family.

Though this has been a very emotional time for our family, I am learning more about my faith, my strength and the power of the priesthood. You see, when I was watching Traeton struggle to raise his arm or walk without falling over, I looked to Jeff for a miracle. I whispered "Do something." Jeff immediately sat Trae down right where we were and layed his hands on his head to give him a blessing. In those moments I recall praying so fervently. We did not know what was going on or that Trae had had a stroke, but I knew the Lord could help him. I will be forever grateful that Jeff is a worthy priesthood holder. That he loves the Lord and is able to bless our family in times of need. He has been a tower of strength to me time after time. I am thankful for the example he is to our children, especially the boys. I wanted to share this experience more for myself than for anyone else, only because I do not want to forget the things the Lord has done for me. I know that the effects of a stroke can be devastating. I see Traeton as a miracle-blessed by our Heavenly Father who was looking out for him. It is humbling to read this note from Elder Hammond since we had not told anyone of that first, immediate blessing, nor have I shared how I felt during that time. I felt the power of the priesthood. There are no coincidences. So please read on and feel of Elder Hammond's love as he shares his insights about my families struggle.


Dear President and Sister Keller,

I shared with Sister Hammond the tender account of your grandson's miraculous recovery. It touched both of us deeply. Some might call it a "stroke of luck," but all who really understand know it to be a "stroke of mercy." How merciful is our God! How loving and infinitely mindful of His children is He, all the way down to the details of their lives.

It occurred to me that, since faith builds upon itself, your son's time unemployed had more to do with your grandson's recovery than many people may realize. As your unemployed son and his wife prayed for work, searched for work, and trusted in the Lord's love and power to help them - their faith in Him grew. They kept trying, kept believing, and their faith kept growing and was eventually confirmed when he found work.

Then...when the crisis hit with their little boy, their towering faith was sufficient to meet the demands of the moment and call forth a miracle. How often do today's seeming "set backs" prepare us for tomorrow's trials! "All these things (you are suffering today) shall be for thy good (tomorrow)" (D&C 122:7). Again, I say, "how merciful is our God" for He knoweth all things and He prepareth His children for tomorrow's trials by strengthening their faith through today's opposition.

Elder Ronald Hammond

It's been two weeks.

It is hard to believe that it has been two weeks since Trae's stroke. He is back to his old self, with a few more stories to add to his tale of adventure. He really is remarkable. I know every mom says that about her kids, but Trae is special in so many ways. We are grateful that he is here with us and that he is doing so well.

This picture shows Trae while at Primary Children's Hospital-he had to wear the brace until they made sure he did not have any brain stem/ spinal cord injuries. He hated it, but patiently waited for the ok to take it off.

 

This is Trae waiting for us to get ready to go home. He was tired of the hospital, but loved being able to order whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted.

 

Traeton turned six on the 1st. It feels like he was just a baby. Time really does go quick.

 

Though we didn't get him this box for his birthday, we probably should have. Sometimes I think the kids have more fun with the packaging, than they do with the toys.

 

why can't I stop crying?

I am finding that it is in my solitude that this whole ordeal seems so hard. When I look at Traeton I can't help but be grateful for his strength, but when I am alone I can't stop crying. Not crying because he is struggling, because he is doing amazing, but crying out of disbelief and gratitude. It seems unreal to me, I can imagine how he is confused by all of this. Traeton is doing wonderful. He is back to teasing his brother and getting into trouble. He is begging to get out and play. I think I will always be a bit over protective and worried about his well-being, but he is on the fast track to complete recovery. We are all so proud of him and what he is able to accomplish. There is one thing I have noticed- he is always smiling. I don't think he has frowned once since we have been home. Just looking at him brightens my day. Thanks for all of the support and love. We have felt an abundance of love through this and I know it has helped all of us.

Traeton's latest adventure

Jeff is bugging me about getting a few pictures on the blog about Traeton, but to be honest I don't know if I have formed my thoughts enough to say anything coherent. My sweet Traeton had a stroke on Wednesday night. We went to the Doctor and initially we were told that he had a head trauma-maybe a concusion because he said that he hit his head against the neighbor boys while jumping on the tramp. He came home and said that he was having a hard time walking. I watched him walk and he stumbled over to the left side. When I looked at him I knew immediately that something was not right. He could not smile his beautiful smile. The left side just frowned and his eye had no shape to it. As time progressed we realized that he had some slight paralysis all along his left side. The Doctor said it was probably Bell's palsy, ordered a CT and we were off to Radiology. The CT looked fine so we were sent home to see how it goes. Well, Thursday morning when he hadn't gotten any better the Doctor wanted to see him again. After checking him out he decided to call the Neurologist at Primary Children's Hospital. She wanted an MRI and to see him as soon as possible. It was at this point that I heard the words-it might be a stroke.

If you can imagine me sitting there in the doctor's office with Maleena in my arms, Miguel next to me and Traeton laying on my lap, I don't know if I fully heard the words. I didn't have time to process, because the Doctor stated that we would need to get an MRI as soon as possible. Immediately I said okay, what do we do. The doctor asked if I could get some help with the kids. Jeff was at work, because we didn't expect anything to this degree. I called my parents and Jeff and then things started moving pretty fast. We went over to Radiology and then found out that we were going to be life Flighted to Primary Children's. After a quick assessment we decided that I would fly with Traeton. That was not the most pleasant way to go, not at all what I expected. It was beautiful, but both Trae and I were getting sick. Unfortunately for Trae, he could not fight off the sickness and had a miserable ride.

Once in Salt Lake the MRI showed that he did indeed have a stroke deep in his brain on the right side. It was isolated to a small area so that was great news. Through consequent tests we have found out that everything looks normal and there is no real reason for the stroke. I still can't believe that my child, nearly just 6 years old had a stroke. Even saying the words tend to hurt. I keep thinking that I am going to look over at him and he is going to smile his big, beautiful smile and look at me with that twinkle in his eye. I am quickly growing to love the new, beautiful smile he shares with me. He is amazing!! I am so impressed with his fight for normalcy and his quick desire to do things on his own. It will be some time before he is back to normal, if ever, but he is on a great journey. We all are confident that he will do most all things as time progresses. We are thankful for all of the prayers and support. We have found that it could have been so much worse and for that we are so grateful. Trae is strong, stronger than I ever knew. Probably stronger than I am at this point. I know this is getting pretty long, but we wanted you all to know how he is doing. He is getting better every minute. He is walking and talking better and getting his sweet personality back. For that we are most grateful.

 
 
 
 

He hears me...

Today has been one of those days. As I try to stay positive through Jeff's job search and the highs and lows that come with that, I am also trying to show my faith in the Lord. I have faith that things will work out and I know that the Lord is looking out for our family, but it is still a daily struggle to make ends meet. Well, tonight I was at the grocery store because we were completely out of milk and Miguel and I were walking through the fruits and vegetables. Miguel LOVES most all fruit and vegetables and he was looking at a vegetable tray and begging for it. I was telling him that we just can't get it right now, he was saying that we don't have any broccoli so we need it. Well, usually I forget that there are others around when I am struggling with my kids. As we walked away from the vegetable tray a sweet old man asked if he really likes broccoli. I told him that it is one of his favorites. He then asked if he could buy the tray for Miguel. I wish you could see this man. Even his long, white beard looked Christ-like. I know it might have been something small, but it was a huge thing for me. Thank-you to the kind man at the store, I cried the whole way home. He stated to me that if Miguel will eat vegetables then he will buy them for him. The message I got was that the Lord loves me and blessed my family with the generosity of a person I don't even know. Carrots and dip will never be the same.

Be Still

Though I haven't been able to update my blog lately, there is always a lot going on with us. Sunday I was not really feeling up to 9 A.M. church, but despite all of my excuses, I got the kids ready and we made it by 9:15. Jeff was off in Seattle selling security systems so he was not able to help. As I sat down in Relief Society the scripture- "Be Still and know that I am God" was displayed on the table. I can't even recall half of the lesson-the scripture was all that I could think about.

I have been struggling with a lot of things lately and both Jeff and I are grasping at the lesson we are supposed to get out of our trials in life. I am discovering my weaknesses and some of my strengths. I have always been strong in the gospel,but even my faith has been tested this last year. I am thankful for my savior and as I endure, I am reminded of all that I am blessed with. I understand what it means to Be Still. I am working on just that. I am trying to understand my Heavenly Father's love for me and gain a more sure knowledge of his presence in my life. I hope to be able to teach my children how to recognize God's hand in their lives as well.

The Littlest Diva

I just had to share with you Maleena in her purple outfit, complete with the most adorable little jeans. We don't usually get her all glamorous, but I couldn't resist the big bow.

 
 
 

More Easter pictures

 

We did have a great time, though Traeton was upset that he did not get the egg with the golden dollar-he agreed that it was still fun. Growing up is hard sometimes. Thanks Grandma for an enjoyable Easter-we love you!! (Thanks to my sisters who did a lot of the work, you all are amazing!)

Easter time

Maleena's Easter dress-what a cutie! I just wish she could wear her cute clothes more than just a couple of times. She is growing way too quick.

 

Here are a few pictures of the annual Easter egg hunt at my parents house. The kids had fun, always a few broken hearts at the end, but overall everyone had a good time.

 

 

 

Baseball begins!!

Here is Traeton at his first game. It was so fun to watch him and feel of his excitement. Having played softball for years, I felt like I wanted to get out there again. This is Traeton's first year, but the kids start @ 2 or 3 years old. Miguel isn't playing this year, but will next year for sure. It was a little breezy, but we all enjoyed being able to watch Trae. He did great! The best part about kids this age is that they just love playing. It is cute because each child runs to wherever the ball is-usually colliding. Lots to learn. We are proud of Trae and his desire to do his best.

 

 

 

 

San Antonio and a birthday

Last week as I prepared to go to San Antonio to see my Grandmother for the last time I don't think the magnitude really hit me until I returned home to my own family. I am going to miss her. She passed away on Saturday, and though it was serene and peaceful as she passed, it was still one of the saddest things I have witnessed. It is amazing how since then I have thought about and remembered all these little experiences that have reminded me of her love. She always had cheese whiz and Ritz crackers for me when I would visit. I loved her home, her softness and her love of jewelry. I loved that she had a vanity in her bathroom where she could sit and put on her make-up. I always felt like a movie star when I would sit there with the mirrors and the lights. It meant a lot to me that I could see her again and I am thankful I was able to fly down with my mom and sister Tara. They helped with Maleena and made the trip fun. It was also nice to see all the family in San Antonio again. Though I wish Jeff and the boys could have gone, it was still good for me to be there.

This is the San Antonio temple-I didn't take very many pictures of the trip because Tara took a bunch, I will have to get copies though.

 

 

A couple of weeks ago my cousin Joey gave us a huge bag of the best potatoes so last night for my birthday we decided to try twice baked potatoes. They turned out pretty good.

 

 

Maleena's Baby Blessing

This first picture was the first dress we put on Maleena. It was so cute to see her in those tiny tights. How Fun!!

 

Maleena's blessing was on Sunday and with all the chaos we didn't get her picture taken, so last night we dressed her up and snapped a few pictures. I was grateful that on Sunday she didn't have any accidents and the dress stayed clean. I can't say the same for last night. Regardless, she did look like a doll all dressed in white. The blessing Jeff gave her was beautiful. I am thankful for him and his worthiness and desire to honor his priesthood. It is easy to see the love he has for the Lord and for our family.

 

 

 

Darn early release

Traeton has early release days from school on the 2nd and 4th Monday of every month. Well, last week was Spring Break and upon being so excited that he went to school this morning, I forgot about the early release. Normally, Trae gets off the bus at 11:30, but today it was 11 a.m. So at 11:15 when I realized it was an early release day, I frantically told Jeff to get over to the school to get Traeton because if parents aren't at the bus stop the kids go back to the school. Well, Traeton finally arrived back at the school at 11:50 after he had gone the whole route of the bus.

When he got home he came over to me nearly in tears. I felt a little better about my lack of parenting when he told me only 1 mom was at the stop. (Usually there are 5 or 6 of us) So I wasn't the only one that forgot to pick up my child today. I have to admit I have done this once before, so it wasn't as traumatic for Traeton, he knew the school would call and remind me. Thanks to Traeton and his ability to quickly forgive. I think if Jeff forgot to pick me up at any point, I would be fuming mad. Luckily Traeton, and children in general, are able to look past our faults and love us anyway. Traeton also was able to look on the bright side, he said he got to see where his friends live, given that his stop is the first one and he had to go through all the other stops before going back to school. So, instead of being upset with myself for forgetting, I am choosing to be mad at early releases in general. Not really, but it is hard to remember it all.

Things change so quickly...

Never in a million years would I have guessed that we would go through 3 lay offs in one year, but that is exactly what has happened. We are once again sending out resumes and applications. I have learned that nothing is for sure and changes happen so quickly. We are handling it a lot better this time around, but the situation seems bleaker given the state of the economy. It just seems like there are so many people looking for work. We are praying that we will be able to make things work and that Jeff will get a job that will provide for our family. The difficult part is that I could probably get a job, but Maleena is just barely 5 weeks old and I can't seem to find the strength to leave her just yet. I have struggled with the notion that I am being selfish and/or silly in choosing to stay home when I could be working, but I am not ready-we are praying that we are making the right choice. Things are good otherwise, we are going to be blessing Maleena on Sunday and I am excited about all our family celebrating in her arrival. She brings us so much joy. We are grateful for her and thankful that she is healthy and happy. Also, we are so excited for Sharen and Memo and their news that they are having a baby boy!!

Nearly 3 weeks old!

Tomorrow Maleena will be 3 weeks old. It seems like she is growing so fast already. Last week at her check up she was up to 9 lbs. 1 ounce. So she is doing great. Her length was 21 1/2 inches. The nurse thought they probably measured wrong at the time of birth because it is unlikely that she grew 1 1/2 inches in two weeks. Anyway she is doing great and I just wanted to put up a couple pictures of her progress. Does she look like me?

 

 

 

 

Jeff thinks that Maleena seems to always have this intense, serious look on her face. She probably gets that from me. She is curious though, even at this point-always wanting to know what is going on around her. She is also very strong-she likes to lift her head up and look around. We are all loving it!