Good to be home

So the trip was fun. Las Vegas is full of excitement and lights and that was okay for awhile, but it sure feels good to be home. I was missing my boys way too much-though they both say they had a great time at Grandma's house, it was hard to be away from them. Jeff and I haven't taken a big trip alone since our honeymoon so it was great for us to be able to spend some time together. I will admit though, I felt lost and alone without my little ones. It really felt strange to not have them around. Jeff on the other hand, enjoyed every minute of it. He has been begging me for a trip without the kids for a while. Well, since Trae was born 5 yrs. ago.

I am trying to learn how to juggle my time and energy between Jeff and the kids. It has been difficult for me to remember Jeff needs me too. With Trae I was terrible, I never wanted to leave him unless I had to and I always felt like I needed to be holding him. Jeff paid the price for that one. I was learning how to breastfeed and still let others watch him-feeling guilty that I wouldn't be there to feed him. He never did want a bottle. I was a little better with Miguel. Jeff watched him while I went to school and I pumped a lot more, but I still struggled to find balance between my marriage and motherhood.

With the next one on the way, Jeff is worried he will lose what little bit of me he still has. I hope we have learned something with the last two and we will be more prepared for this one. I understand Jeff's frustrations-he says things get better after about a year and a half. When I quit nursing and the baby seems more grown up. I love the baby stage. You never get that back. I am going to try harder with this one to be a better wife and Jeff promises to help with the boys more. Either way I know we will get through it. We are coming up on 7 yrs. of marriage. I remember when one year seemed like such a long time and now it is 7. Time really does go by so quick. This trip was good for us because it remined us of the great time we have together and it forced us to really focus all our energy on eachother. There weren't any distractions-it was just us. I would have liked to relax more, but we did have a lot of fun. I told Jeff it will just be another 2-3 years before we do it again, atleast without any kids.