I hate that all my life I have been fanatic about timelines. As soon as classes would start when I was in school I would figure out how many pages I had to read each week to stay caught up with the syllabus and use a separate calendar just to mark my school reading, tests, assignment schedule. It doesn't stop there, I am always jotting on the calendar how many days there are left to something. Pregnancies are the worst because there are trimesters, months, weeks, and days. I am always marking the next big thing coming up and then counting down the days. Can you say Obsessive/ Compulsive. Right now there are a lot of those things on the schedule. Christmas, New Year's, Tara's wedding, baby shower, Miguel's 3rd birthday, Stake Women's Conference, Baby due date, Stake Activity night-that I need to figure out what to do for our ward. There are always a million things on the list, but right now I just want to get to Wednesday afternoon-Christmas Eve. Jeff has been gone two weeks now and he will be home sometime late afternoon on Wednesday. I am missing him so much right now.
A lot of the plans we had for our family have taken on changes over the years. It seems that we, or I, try so hard to figure out exactly what we need to do and then it never seems that God has the same plan for us. I guess that controlling nature of mine needs some adjusting and I just haven't gotten the message. You would think by now I would remember to ask the Lord what is best for our family before I map out our future. I am learning, we are learning to rely on the Lord and I am feeling the Savior's love for me through all of the challenges that we are faced with. We have been so blessed these last couple of weeks and I can't express enough how thankful I am for the help of others. I am not so prideful that I can't say this has been a hard year for us. We have had a lot of ups and downs, but I know I have a Heavenly Father that loves us and with the Lord's help things do work out. I believe that if I remain faithful and do my part, the Lord will make up the difference where I might lack.
Jeff started his job two weeks ago and he was surprised by the kindness and generosity of those around him. He met a man and his wife at the company party after only being there for a couple of days and they were talking about their families. Well, for some reason this man felt compelled to ask Jeff if he could help us get a nice gift for our 5 year old. Without really even knowing us or our situation, he gave Jeff a gift that we have wanted to get for Traeton, but could not afford at this time. Do I believe in miracles? Would we have been okay without it, would Traeton have been okay without it? Of course, but I do not believe it was a coincidence or that this man was not prompted by the spirit to offer us some help this Christmas year. I just hope that as things turn around for us and we work through our own challenges, that we will one day be able to repay the generosity that we have been blessed with. Thank you to those near strangers that have come into our lives and blessed us this year. Weeks ago, I told Jeff this will be a Christmas we never forget and I thought that would be because of the struggle it would be for us to do all that we wanted to. I was so wrong. This will be a Christmas we never forget and it is because of the Lord and the way I have been able to witness his miracles in my life. I have been able to see how the Lord uses others as instruments of his will and it makes me want to be more in tune to hear the promptings of the spirit so that I might be able to help those around me.
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