I am going to miss my kids

I can't believe that tomorrow I start working full time. It has been like a nightmare come true. One of my biggest fears. Maybe I am being a bit dramatic, but it is soo hard to leave my babies. I have never liked doing it and hoped that I wouldn't have to leave them for this amount of time, but job loss and financial concerns have compelled me to need it. I am grateful that I finished school and am now able to get a job. It will be working for Health and Welfare and the job I hoped to get when all my children were in school. I am still not sure I am ready, but tomorrow is the day. It is a blessing for us and Jeff and I feel that it is the right time, given that he is going to start school in January, but I still cry at times just thinking about it. I am so thankful that my little sister Sharen is here to help me through this struggle. Even without asking, she offered to watch my kids so I wouldn't have to take them to daycare. I would gladly pay her instead of a stranger. I know she wanted to move closer to family and made the decision to leave Boise, but I have been so happy to have her close, especially now. I am praying that this change is not too hard on Maleena as I am still nursing her and she really is a mamma's girl. I am hoping for the best and trying to stay positive, reminding myself that the Lord knows what I can handle. I know the Lord had a hand in how I got the job and I am thankful for that.

Maleena shares my worries in this picture, exactly how I am feeling inside. 

What a star!

Though it took some convincing, Trae decided to play basketball this year. It has been so fun to watch him out there. The highlight came when he was able to make a basket and score some points for his team. (Even though they don't keep track at this age) He is a lot like me in that it is extremely hard to try new things. I don't want to look like an idiot and I hate that he shares that with me. I admire those that can be carefree and willing to make mistakes. Oh, I still make mistakes but I am learning to handle them better than I used to. Trae did a great job and I felt so happy for him. Thanks to the Grandparents and Uncle Jordan for showing up. Trae was unsure whether he wanted anyone to watch him, but I know each week he will feel more confident and comfortable. This one is for him-We love you Trae, you continue to amaze us at how far you have come.

Yuck! don't eat everything

Jeff and I were just talking about how nice it is that Maleena is able to eat what we eat. We were surprised tonight to find out that she also enjoys Box Elder Beetles. Yuck!! I am so glad that Jeff was home to find that one. We were all enjoying being together and Maleena was playing with some toys on the floor when Trae thought it looked like she put something in her mouth. Jeff searched around and sure enough he came out with half a bug, still distinguishable, but pretty much gone. I don't recall the boys eating bugs, but my sweet baby girl found one. Something is wrong with this picture. I guess I shouldn't be so worried about her being able to chew her food, it turns out she did pretty good on the little beetle. Sorry I know it is gross, but I just had to post. Maybe they have Fear Factor, infant style.

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It seems that my blog doesn't update on my sister's blog and show that I have posted anything. I just wanted to see if it will this time.

Happy Halloween!!

We had a great Halloween night. I was pleased that the sun was shining and it wasn't too cold. I knew it would be hard for the boys to be outside once it got dark, because it gets so darn cold. We came home with a lot of left over candy from our ward trunk or treat. Last year we ran out, this year we probably had half our supply left-maybe next year we will be just right. Miguel liked handing the candy out more than he liked going and getting it. Actually, it was the highlight of the night to get to answer the door at their Grandma's house and see who was there. I love traditional trick or treating. I just think it is more fun and the walking is good for me and my kids. Needless to say, we have a ton of candy at our house and I am the one that ends up eating most of it. This year we had two ninjas and a chick-