I can't believe that tomorrow I start working full time. It has been like a nightmare come true. One of my biggest fears. Maybe I am being a bit dramatic, but it is soo hard to leave my babies. I have never liked doing it and hoped that I wouldn't have to leave them for this amount of time, but job loss and financial concerns have compelled me to need it. I am grateful that I finished school and am now able to get a job. It will be working for Health and Welfare and the job I hoped to get when all my children were in school. I am still not sure I am ready, but tomorrow is the day. It is a blessing for us and Jeff and I feel that it is the right time, given that he is going to start school in January, but I still cry at times just thinking about it. I am so thankful that my little sister Sharen is here to help me through this struggle. Even without asking, she offered to watch my kids so I wouldn't have to take them to daycare. I would gladly pay her instead of a stranger. I know she wanted to move closer to family and made the decision to leave Boise, but I have been so happy to have her close, especially now. I am praying that this change is not too hard on Maleena as I am still nursing her and she really is a mamma's girl. I am hoping for the best and trying to stay positive, reminding myself that the Lord knows what I can handle. I know the Lord had a hand in how I got the job and I am thankful for that.
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