a few more family pics

These pictures are of the family sitting around after eating ice cream. The kids were being monitored, though they did get a little out of hand. It is difficult to tame so many little boys. I know Trae and Miguel love having their cousins around. I get a bit stressed out when we are around a lot of people or just out in public cause I am constantly worried about what my kids are doing. They did well today and I am proud of them.

 

Uncle Jordan and Kayla

 

what energy these little ones have.

 

Maleena when I walked away maybe four steps to take a picture.

 

summer loving

Today we were able to go to Grandma's house and swim in the ditch. Well the kids swam, I just walked around watching Maleena. They water their grass by flooding the yard so the kids get to go and swim in the grass. They have a good time. Maleena enjoys swinging and seeing the boys run in the water.

 

Kooper was able to spend the day at Grandma's while his parents are at the hospital. Their new baby girl was born this morning at 7:48. They named her McCall and I hear she is just adorable. Congrats!

 

Jared and Tiffany are also in town this weekend, so it was fun for the boys to all get to play together.

 

Afterwards we all went and got ice cream at Farr's. Thanks Grandma and Grandpa for a fun filled day. It was so nice to spend some time with you. We really need to do it more often.

 

Camping-4th of July

This camping trip was a bit different in that we had so much going on it seemed like we were in town more than we were on the mountain, but it was still fun to get away. I can't remember camping in a tent while growing up, my memories always involve relaxing in a trailer, so it has taken me some time to get accustomed to doing everything outdoors and sleeping in a tent. Jeff has tried to make it as nice as he can. I think we are finally getting there. I am liking it more and more each time we go. It also helps that the kids are getting bigger and the boys are easier to take care of. It is Maleena that makes the most mess of her clothes, but she has a good time doing it so I give in. Jeff loves camping, he would do it every weekend if he could. I love his persevering attitude, but sometimes his obsession is more than I can handle. He always tells me that I love all of the camping purchases once I am using them, but I don't think of that when he is spending more money on camping gear. I do love him for trying to create something great for me.

He is a good husband and father. I complain from time to time, but I do feel lucky to have found him. I see young couples and love how I can feel the love that they have for each other and I wonder if Jeff and I will feel that again, or if it is normal to have moved through that. Are we losing that or has our love reached a higher level? I would like to think that between the kids and work and school and church, that we have moments of that infatuation. I have moments when I look at him and can't believe he loves me, so he must have those moments too. I asked him the other night, he says he does, but I need to know more. I need to feel it. I need to know that he loves me more than anything else. We have decided to make more time for us. I hate going out after work, because I have been away from the kids all day, but I see it is important for Jeff and I to connect outside of the daily routine. Here's to working on keeping my marriage and my love strong. I work hard on everything else, so it just makes sense that I will have to put some effort into this too. Geez, don't know where all of that came from, but I have had a lot on my mind. I guess this turned into my outlet.

I love this little girl

I can not get enough of this beautiful face. I look at Maleena and I am in awe of her beauty. She is such a sweet little lady. She is unique and I am so grateful to call her mine. I marvel at how much greatness I see in her already. I count my blessings every time I look into her face. She has added so much to our family. I love the boys and will always be thankful for the way they have blessed and added to our family, but Maleena has calmed my spirit. I yearned for a girl and prayed that the lord would grant me my prayers. I still worried that the ultrasound would be wrong, even up to the second the Doctor looked at her and said, "it's still a girl." I know I would have loved another baby boy, obviously, but I needed a girl. She has been a bright light through so many hardships. She has softened her Dad in a way I can't explain. I love to see the boys and Jeff loving her and playing with her. She is not all sweet though, there is some spunk to her little personality and I am alright with that. I know she will take care of herself and grow to be a strong, smart woman. I am proud of her already. I have taken a couple of days off for the holiday and it has allowed me to just hold her again. I wish I could do it always. I look at her and that innocent baby face is quickly changing. Where does the time go?

 

 

 

family pics

Yesterday was one of the first nice days and the sunshine really didn't even last all day, but we tried to take advantage of it and get some family pictures. The camera died about 10 pictures in and there was no way we could get all of them done so we took a quick break, plugged it in and waited 5 minutes. The kids were upset with the wait, but it turned out okay in the end. We have a few good ones to work with and it was fun seeing the kids all dressed so nice.
Miguel LOVES taking pictures and being in pictures. When I looked through what I had, there were many of him. Which is good, because his picture is lacking around the house.

 

Maleena was not cooperating, but I guess that is part of the fun when dealing with a 1 year old. She looked adorable though. Thanks Aunt Sharen for the pretty dress, we have been waiting patiently to try it on her along with the beautiful bow. You did a great job on that too!

 

Traeton does not like to be criticized when smiling for a picture. He takes it personally and then begins to shut down. He is too much like me when it comes to that. He eventually understood that it takes a while to get a great picture. Love you Trae!

 

Maleena and I did get one good picture before the camera would not open anymore. I wish she was smiling, but I have learned to take what I get.

 

How did she do that?

We really can't leave anything out lying around anymore. Maleena had been out playing in the grass and the next second I looked out and could not see her. I stepped out the door and this is what I saw. She had climbed up on the table and started eating some left over nachos. I couldn't believe she was able to get up there, but I forget how much she has grown. She looked so adorable-I was a little shocked that she liked the nacho cheese. Given that it is a bit spicy even for me.

 

 

 

 

more pics

I already mentioned our trip to the fire station, but I wanted to add these pictures. Jeff jumped right in there, eager to get a chance to use the big fire hose. What a big boy he is. Miguel was adorable and Maleena had fun just watching. Her sticker identifies her as the fire marshall. It really was a fun little outing.

 

 

 

Traeton's 7

What a delight for Traeton to have his first friend birthday party. He was so excited and it turned out pretty good. I was so nervous about it, but the kids liked the pizza and they had no problems entertaining eachother. We love you Trae and we are so happy that you are a part of our family. Can't believe it has been 7 years since I held my first born. You are remarkable and we are so proud to be your parents.

 

 

We were able to go the the fire station open house. The boys had the most fun getting to hold the hose. It was fun to see Miguel all dressed up. Trae didn't want to put on extra clothes, but Miguel really wants to be a fireman so he loved every minute of it. They even went into a room filled with smoke, to better get an idea of what it would be like to get out of your home if there was smoke in your room. It was interesting and quite scary actually.

 

 

this is a good thing, Right?

I find that I have a bit more time now that I am done nursing. It has been so hard for me to quit this time around. Trae was 12 months. Miguel was 14 months and now Maleena made it 15 and Jeff said enough. I know I made the choice, but I like to blame him as I really enjoyed nursing Maleena. I think part of me wanted to stop, but I loved the security of holding Maleena in my arms. Knowing that she needed me and nobody else could comfort her the way I could. Also anticipating that I might not have any more babies probably made it hard for me to let go of Maleena as my baby. We are now two and a half weeks done. Maleena still wonders what happened and my heart breaks that she would have nursed forever if she could. I am no longer able to put her to sleep as easily as before and night have been the hardest time for her so Jeff takes her at night. That is why I have blogged, because he is rocking her and loving her to sleep. When I try she pulls at my shirt and cries. It is too hard for me. I know that eventually i will be able to hold her again, but she equates that rocking and cuddling to nursing and it is just too hard for her right now. I miss my baby

Memorial Day

I wanted to take a minute to express my deep love for those that have passed on before me. Loved ones whose memories pass through my mind often. I will be doing something and all of a sudden my thoughts drift to moments with my grandparents. Or I smell something that reminds me of the familiar smells of my Grandparents home in Texas. I say something and it sounds just like my Grandma Wallace. I look at a garden and think of my Grandpa. It is funny how our brains do that, how we do that. I love the momentary sense of safety and connection that I feel. Like they are right there, whispering to me that they are still near. I may not make it to see their memorials this weekend, but my thoughts are with those that have passed on. So on Memorial Day, thank you to those soldiers that died fighting and my loved ones that seemed to be taken much too soon. I thank them for their examples and love. For all that they did in their lives, so that I can do all that I am now. All my Love-

one year ago..

On May 20th, a year ago, I had some very real fears about our future and Trae's recovery. I sat with him at Primary Children's hospital and I struggled with the unknown. Though the doctors told me all of the success stories and positives of Trae's particular stroke. They also said you just have to wait and see. I can't describe that feeling of uselessness. When you try so hard to protect your children and never would I have imagined what Trae went through. How scary it must have been for him. To blink and not be able to control his body. He was so strong. Loved all of the attention and fought to gain his mobility and muscle control. I am humbled by our blessings. Amazed by the miracles. So now, a year later, I am so thankful that I can say Trae had a stroke and people look at me in disbelief. Thank you to the nurse that helped us out to the car that beautiful May afternoon a year ago. I clung to your words, when you whispered to me that we would get our son back. He continues to scare us with his dare devil character, but I am not afraid of the effects of his stroke. We are so proud of him and impressed with his faith, his courage and his unrelenting perseverance. We love you Trae!!

can't wait for camping

I just had to put a couple pictures of Maleena as she is growing into quite a little lady. She is walking and talking and causing all sorts of problems. We love it!! I have heard us say I don't remember the boys doing that. Maleena is one of a kind. She has lots of personality and she loves to pull things out as she moves around the house. I am loving each new day and dreading it all at the same time. I miss so much while I am working, but I find comfort in the knowledge that I am making a better life for my family. Jeff and I are running here and there and sometimes I wonder how we are going to get through, but we are making it. We have a lot of help and I am thankful for that. Many family members have offered to watch the kids while we work. I have had trainings in Boise where I had to leave for days at a time and many helped us through that, too. Thanks Aunt Sharen and Grandma Keller for hanging in there with the kids. I know they are a handful at times. We count our blessings everyday.

Maleena loves to find things in the garbage. We have learned to put it up high if we don't want any unnecessary messes.

Our latest pleasure comes from sitting out in the yard, roasting marshmallows by the fire. We are all anticipating going Camping. I can't wait for the firesides and starry skies.

What do you think about Jeff's boy scout ability to light a fire?

Busy Busy

It seems that the few minutes that I have to myself, never really are to myself.  I think back at times in the past when I never thought I would get through and I just laugh at all that my life requires now.  I am grateful for my job.  I sat through a meeting yesterday in which 126 lay offs were announced.  I am the last hire in my office so you can imagine my anxiety.  I am still employed and am not really sure how it happened.  There are more experienced workers out of jobs all across the state.  I thank my Father in Heaven for sparing me this time.  One of my supervisors commented today that I really dodged a bullet yesterday and not even the supervisors know how I ended up holding on.  See, I am still on my probation period and it would be easy to let me go.  Though  I had prepared myself for the worst, it was bitter- sweet to not lose my job.  I had pictured being home with my kids and that looked pretty good.  Then the reality of that situation sets in and  I realize that losing my income would not make my life any less stressful and for that reason, I am so very grateful for my ability to work.  Thank you to the people that fought for me and kept me employed.  It means everything to me right now.

I am also happy to report that I have moved into the arena of t-ball and soccer coach.  I can handle the t-ball, but soccer?  Really?   I don't know  a thing about soccer, but the coach blew out his knee and I am the replacement.  Pray for the 6 year olds looking to me for direction.  I better get researching, first practice is tomorrow.  Wish me luck-- 

Crazy hair

We went to the park for the first time this year and it was so funny, but everytime Maleena went down, her hair went up. She looked adorable with her hair standing on end. She brings a smile to all our faces!! We can't wait for many more slides and trips to the park.

growing so quickly!!

Just wanted to update the blog and put on some more recent pictures. They are not the best ones, but they show how much Maleena has grown. She is crawling, climbing, laughing, talking, cuddling and crying. She has learned how to get what she wants and we are all falling for it. What a princess! We love her so much!

This head band was made with love by Aunt Sharen. It looked so cute on Maleena. I was surprised that she kept it on, but we made it through church and that is all that matters.
Jeff has been remodeling the bathroom and Maleena discovered a great hideaway. It was so cute to see her climb inside and play.