It's been a while

It has been hard for me to formulate any coherent thoughts these last few weeks. Sometimes it feels like there isn't any rhyme or reason why things happen as they do. I am learning that change is inevitable and I have to accept that. I am trying to make the best of the situation we have found ourselves in. Jeff is now working in Vernal,Utah and he has been there one week. I need to thank my sister for her suggestion and for Betz and his referral.

Maybe Jeff and I will never have that ideal work-family relationship or maybe there are more families out there that have to work apart from each other, but we are trying to make the best of what we have. Since our marriage, back in 2001, we have always had jobs where Jeff worked nights or opposite my school or work schedule. There have been a few times when Jeff had "normal" work hours and I am thankful for those times, but we have learned how to deal with the changes that come upon our family.

It is not easy, as much as I pray that it will be, this life is difficult with its ups and downs. I am grateful for the blessings in my life. Thankful for my husband, who is willing to work hours away from his family-how lonely it must be for him. I atleast, have the boys to keep me company and to help me pass the time. I am also thankful that Betz is working in Vernal too and has been able to take Jeff out a couple times.

I am especially thankful for my family. Usually I am okay, but there are times when I get down or frustrated or lonely and I am thankful that I have people around me that care about me and our family. For example, it always happens that when Jeff is not around my car breaks down. Always happens, I think it hates me or something. Well this week was no different. I was with a client and all of a sudden we saw smoke or steam coming from under the hood. I wasn't too concerned because this has happened before, we had a coolant leak. Well, a gentleman came over and said he thought it was probably a hose that broke given the huge amount of antifreeze all over the ground. I called Jeff. I don't know what he could do with no way to come and rescue me, but I still needed to hear from him-knowing he would make it all seem okay. He immediately called his Father and before I knew it his Dad and brother were towing the car and I was given his mother's car to use. I can't express how much that meant to me to know that it was going to be okay. That, even without Jeff, his family is more than willing to step in and help me when I need it.

Then, knowing that our finances are strained right now, his parents gave me some money for Christmas. Honestly, I had not bought one single thing for Christmas. I will always be grateful for the kindness that Jeff's family has always shown to me. I have never had the terrible stories to tell about the in laws and I have always felt loved, accepted and appreciated. Thanks to the Keller's for all they have done for us over the years.

Finally, yesterday my sister Tara called and asked if we wanted to come and hear Keaton's Christmas program at school. I was hesitant, given my rambunctious boys, but it was so nice to see Keaton smiling and singing and to get to spend the day with my sister. After the program Tara took both my boys, along with her Bella and I was able to go and get some Christmas shopping done. I know there is more to Christmas than what our kids get and the gifts we buy, but I have never before wondered how we were going to pay for Christmas. We don't have a credit card and neither of us wanted to get one, just for Christmas. My sister reassured me that it's okay to not get the kids great big gifts-or for Santa to not get them great big things. I just didn't want Trae to be disappointed, but I realized that he and Miguel are good kids and they will be happy with whatever they get, especially since they are only 5 and 2. With the money from my in laws, and the time, thanks to my sister, I spent the next hour getting quite a bit of my Christmas shopping done. This will be a Christmas Jeff and I will never forget.

To wrap this up, I then spent the rest of the night with Tara and Bella at her house and Costco. I love my sister. We come from a very emotional family-often loud and outspoken, and Tara and I have had our share of disagreements over the years, but I am grateful for her sisterhood and her friendship. I feel that experience binds us together and helps us relate to others and as I have grown I am learning to love unconditionally.